Relationships

Let It Out!

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With this positive movement around us, it’s easy to get caught up in feeling guilty for having negative emotions or at the very least confusing emotions.

Emotions are so elusive anyway - or so we think... 

I don’t know about you, but I’m always some place in the middle of trying to understand them, attempting to honor them, being consumed by them and trying to hide them. Until recently, I decided about 6 months ago to just LET THEM ALL OUT. Yes, that’s right. Let my emotions flow out of me. Sit in a hot bath and cry. Get in-touch with some of the pain that is buried down deep. Feeling a bit crazy anyone? I have to say if you’re going to try this at home BEWARE! I’m only half kidding when I say that, but it’s so worth it when you get on the other side.

The biggest lessons I learned from this ‘crazy’ 6-month experiment:

1)    Owning your feelings feels good.

2)    When you feel broken that’s when you’re on the way to fixing and dare I say thriving.

3)    Emotions need to be released so if you are crying, laughing, burping, and/or yelling you are doing something right!

4)    Just breathe – breathing techniques were the anchor that aided me through this time. They can be so damn powerful!

5)    Learning other tools for release – as you all know I teach and consult using EFT which is a great tool to release feelings constructively. I also used meditation, hypnosis, energy healing on myself during this time.

6)    Don’t be afraid of people thinking you are psycho. I’m not sure why this one was such a big one for me. I guess as women and moms we feel like we have to hold everything together (and get judged), so if we aren’t together, what happens? Well, my husband and my daughter held everything together and guess what? They learned a hell of allot in the process.

7)    Owning your feelings doesn’t mean you have to be nasty to others.

8)    Feeling your feelings should be a private event for the most part.

9)    Being true to yourself is never wrong.

10) Stopping thinking there is an end. It’s a process to release anger, resentment, disappointment, fear, failure, etc. Just go with it and it will end faster.

Number 10 was the biggest lesson of all. I put so much pressure on myself to get over something, meanwhile I’m not really processing it while it happens. We need to process as humans in order to release. Release, process, release, process, and I promise you one day you will wake up just like I did and suddenly feel lighter and free.

‘You’ are back again - the ‘you’, you’ve missed - know well and love – this time stronger than before.

The promise I made to myself is to do a better job of owning my feelings. So, what if I’m angry, sad, upset, I’m going to feel it this time around, process it, deal with it and own it. Life is too short to worry about labels. I deserve a voice!

 

Just a Reflection

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Life can tend to blend together a bit with days blending into weeks and weeks blending into months. We face daily challenges as individuals, just as our partners face challenges of their own. When the day turns on me and the hits keep coming, I tend to notice my partner's faults more and they become glaring to me. It’s definitely noticeable, and dare I say a tad annoying at times. The day before the look of love and admiration has now slowly turned to judgement.

In the shower the next morning, lost in deep thought about ‘his’ issue. I slowly began to realize this issue is my own. I see it playing out in my own life. This challenge actually belongs to me.

He is just a reflection of me.

Wow, what a tough pill to swallow. Judging him when it’s been my issue this entire time. Or maybe we are both struggling with something and through each other find our truth.

Either way, I feel closer to him than ever before, more in love and more grateful for our partnership, our commitment and so open to seeing how fallible I am. How much more I have yet to grow and learn and change. How grateful I am to see my reflection, to start this process of surrendering, letting go, for me and for him.

Continuing to always grow together again when things seem like we may be growing apart. Simply a new perspective maybe, but it keeps me falling in love with my husband over and over again. 

Life is good.